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jokes of the day:
Scale:
A husband stepped on one of those penny scales that tell you
your fortune and weight and dropped in a coin.
"Listen to this," he said to his wife, showing her a small,
white card. "It says I'm energetic, bright, resourceful and a
great lover."
"Yeah," his wife nodded, "and it has your weight wrong, too."
Growing Wild:
In sunny Califorina there was a man who was very proud of
his tan. He had taned every part of his body except his
penis. So wanting an all over tan, he decided to bury
himself in the sand and leave only his dick out to get the
all over tan that he craved. Now there happened to be an old
lady (around 80) hobbling down that same beach. When she
looked down and saw this penis laying on the sand. Taking
her cane she touched it and it got hard. She said " 40 years
ago I would have given anything for one of thoughs and here
that are growing wild.
Simple Mathematics:
Dear Wife:
You must realize that you are 54 years old, and I have
certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am
otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I sincerely hope you
will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you
receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my
18-year old secretary. I'll be home before midnight.
When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed
letter waiting for him that read as follows:
Dear Husband:
You, too, are 54 years old and by the time you receive this
letter, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18-year
old pool boy. Since you are an accountant, you will
appreciate that 18 goes into 54 many more times than 54 goes
into 18. Therefore don't wait up.
Your Wife
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