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jokes of the day:
Your Husband Lost Five Hundred Dollars at Poker:
Six guys were playing poker when Smith loses $500 on a
single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table.
Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five
complete their playing time standing up.
One of the men looks around and asks, "Now, who is going to
tell the wife?"
They draw straws. Steve, who is always a loser, picks the
short one.
They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad
situation any worse than it is.
"Gentlemen! Discreet? I'm the most discreet man you will
ever meet. Discretion is my middle name, leave it to me."
Steve walks over to the Smith house, knocks on the door, the
wife answers, asks what he wants.
Steve says, "Your husband just lost $500 playing cards."
She hollers, "TELL HIM TO DROP DEAD!"
Steve replies, "I'll tell him."
Simple Mathematics:
Dear Wife:
You must realize that you are 54 years old, and I have
certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am
otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I sincerely hope you
will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you
receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my
18-year old secretary. I'll be home before midnight.
When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed
letter waiting for him that read as follows:
Dear Husband:
You, too, are 54 years old and by the time you receive this
letter, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18-year
old pool boy. Since you are an accountant, you will
appreciate that 18 goes into 54 many more times than 54 goes
into 18. Therefore don't wait up.
Your Wife
Mirror, Mirror ... On the Wall ...:
After living in a remote wilderness all his life, an old
codger decided it
was time to visit the big city. In one of the stores he
picks up a mirror
and looks in it. Not knowing what it was, he remarked, "How
about that!
Here's a picture of my daddy."
He bought the 'picture', but on the way home he remembered
his wife, Lizzy,
didn't like his father. So he hung it in the barn, and every
morning before
leaving for the fields, he would go there and look at it.
Lizzy began to get suspicious of these many trips to the
barn. One day
after her husband left, she searched the barn and found the
mirror.
As she looked into the glass, she fumed, "So that's the old
gal he's
runnin' after."
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