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jokes of the day:
Divorced blonde:
What do you call a blonde with 90% of her intelligence gone?
Divorced.
Stop him from coming home late:
One afternoon, a woman was complaining to her new next-door neighbor that her husband always came home late, no matter how she tried to stop him.
"Take my advice," said the neighbor, "and do what I did. Once my husband came home at three o'clock in the morning, and from my bed, I called out: 'Is that you, Jim?' And that cured him."
"Cured him!" asked the woman, "but how did that cure him?"
The neighbor said, "His name is Bill."
Dead Priests:
Two priests died at the same time and met St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter said, "I'd like to get you guys in now, but our computer's down. You'll have to go back to Earth for a week, but you can't go back as humans. What'll it be?"
The first priest said, "I've always wanted to be an eagle soaring above the Rocky mountains."
"So be it," said St. Peter, and off flew the first priest.
The second priest mulled it over for a moment and asked, "Will any of this week 'count,' St. Peter?"
"No, I told you the computer's down. There's no way we can keep track of what you're doing."
"In that case," said the second priest, "I've always wanted to be a stud."
"So be it," said St. Peter, and the second priest disappeared.
A week went by, the computer was fixed, and the Lord told St. Peter to recall the two priests.
"Will you have any trouble locating them?" He asked.
"The first one should be easy," said St. Peter. "He's somewhere over the Rockies flying with the eagles. But the second one could prove to be more difficult. He's on a snow tire somewhere in Minnesota."
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