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jokes of the day:
Penis Receipts:
When the ark's door was closed, Noah called a meeting with all the animals...
"Listen up!" he said in a demanding voice. "There will benosex on this trip. All of you males, take off your penis and hand it over to my sons. I will sit over there and write you receipts. After we see land, you can get your penis back."
After a week, Mr. Rabbit stormed into his wife's cage and was very excited.
"Quick!" he said, "Get on my shoulders and look out the window to see if there is any land out there!"
Mrs. Rabbit got onto his shoulders, looked out the window, and said, "Sorry, no land yet."
"Damn!" exclaimed Mr. Rabbit.
This went on every day until Mrs. Rabbit got fed up with him.
Mrs. Rabbit asked, "What is the matter with you? You know it will rain for 40 days and nights. Only after the water has drained will we be able to see land. Why are you acting so excited every day?"
"Look!", said Mr. Rabbit with a sly expression, as he held out a piece of paper, "I got the horse's receipt!"
Mirror, Mirror ... On the Wall ...:
After living in a remote wilderness all his life, an old
codger decided it
was time to visit the big city. In one of the stores he
picks up a mirror
and looks in it. Not knowing what it was, he remarked, "How
about that!
Here's a picture of my daddy."
He bought the 'picture', but on the way home he remembered
his wife, Lizzy,
didn't like his father. So he hung it in the barn, and every
morning before
leaving for the fields, he would go there and look at it.
Lizzy began to get suspicious of these many trips to the
barn. One day
after her husband left, she searched the barn and found the
mirror.
As she looked into the glass, she fumed, "So that's the old
gal he's
runnin' after."
Cooking a Potato:
Q: How do you know when it's time to take a potato out of
the oven?
A: Well, it's like sex -- you have to squeeze it. If it's
hard you leave it in. If it's soft you take it out.
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