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jokes of the day:
Your Husband Lost Five Hundred Dollars at Poker:
Six guys were playing poker when Smith loses $500 on a
single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table.
Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five
complete their playing time standing up.
One of the men looks around and asks, "Now, who is going to
tell the wife?"
They draw straws. Steve, who is always a loser, picks the
short one.
They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad
situation any worse than it is.
"Gentlemen! Discreet? I'm the most discreet man you will
ever meet. Discretion is my middle name, leave it to me."
Steve walks over to the Smith house, knocks on the door, the
wife answers, asks what he wants.
Steve says, "Your husband just lost $500 playing cards."
She hollers, "TELL HIM TO DROP DEAD!"
Steve replies, "I'll tell him."
The blonde is so stupid ... telephone:
This blonde is so stupid, she called me to get my telephone number!
Suitable punishment:
Three guys were on a trip to Saudi Arabia.
One day, they stumbled into a harem tent filled with over 100 beautiful women. They started getting friendly with all the women, when suddenly the Sheik came in.
"I am the master of all these women. No one else can touch them except me. You three men must pay for what you have done today. You will be punished in a way corresponding to your profession."
The sheik turns to the first man and asks him what he does for a living. "I'm a cop", says the first man. "Then we will shoot your penis off!", said the sheik.
He then turned to the second man and asked him what he did for a living. "I'm a firemen", said the second man. "Then we will burn your penis off!", said the sheik.
Finally, he asked the last man, "And you, what do you do for a living?" And the third man answered, with a sly grin, "I'm a lollipop salesman!"
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