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jokes of the day:
A Deathbed Confession:
Becky was on her deathbed with her husband, John, maintaining a steady vigil by her side. As he held her fragile hand, his warm tears ran silently down his face, splashed onto her face, and roused her from her slumber.
She looked up and her pale lips began to move slightly. "My darling John," she whispered.
"Hush, my love," he said. "Go back to sleep. Shhh. Don't talk."
But she was insistent. "John," she said in her tired voice. "I have to talk. I have something I must confess to you."
"There's nothing to confess" replied the weeping John. "It's all right. everything's all right, go to sleep now."
"No, no. I must die in peace, John. I slept with your brother, your best friend and your father."
John mustered a pained smile and stroked her hand. "Hush now Becky, don't torment yourself. I know all about it." he said, "Why do you think I poisoned you?"
Big Tits Is Everything:
The other day, while I was seeing my shrink, he asked me what I looked for in a woman.
Naturally I replied, "Big tits."
He said, "No, I meant for a serious relationship."
So I said, "Oh, seriously big tits."
"No, no, no. I mean what do you look for in the one woman you want to spend the rest of your life with?"
He looked at me kind of worried as I just sat there on his couch laughing until my gut hurt. "Spend the rest of my life with one woman? No woman's tits are that big."
A Woman's Ultimate Fantasy:
Did you hear about the woman whose ultimate fantasy is to
have two men at once?
One cooking and the other cleaning.
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