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jokes of the day:
Your Husband Lost Five Hundred Dollars at Poker:
Six guys were playing poker when Smith loses $500 on a
single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table.
Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five
complete their playing time standing up.
One of the men looks around and asks, "Now, who is going to
tell the wife?"
They draw straws. Steve, who is always a loser, picks the
short one.
They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad
situation any worse than it is.
"Gentlemen! Discreet? I'm the most discreet man you will
ever meet. Discretion is my middle name, leave it to me."
Steve walks over to the Smith house, knocks on the door, the
wife answers, asks what he wants.
Steve says, "Your husband just lost $500 playing cards."
She hollers, "TELL HIM TO DROP DEAD!"
Steve replies, "I'll tell him."
_ _ _
Who Made Man:A mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer, and a civil engineer were arguing over what type of engineer god was.
The mechanical engineer pointed to the body's intricate skeletal/muscular system and proudly stated that god must have been a mechanical engineer.
The electrical engineer said that was okay, but he felt that the brain and nervous system were of such incredible design and complexity that god had to be an electrical engineer
The mechanical engineer and the electrical engineer both looked at the civil engineer, who was smiling at their discussion. "I suppose you think god was a civil engineer," they said.
"Of course," replied the civil engineer. "Who else would run a sewer system through a major recreational area?"
_ _ _
Man's heart:Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
A: Through his chest with a sharp knife.
_ _ _
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