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jokes of the day:
Blowjob:
A boy takes his girlfriend home after going out together.
When they reach the front door, he leans against the wall with one hand and says, "Sweetie, why don't you give me a blowjob?"
"What? You're crazy!"
"Don't worry, it will be quick, no problem."
"No!! Someone may see -- a relative, a neighbor..."
"At this time of the night? No one will show up..."
"I've already said No, and NO!"
"Honey, it's just a small blowie...I know you'd like it, too..."
"No! I've said NO!"
"My love... Don't be like that..."
At this moment, the girlfriend's younger sister shows up at the door in her nightgown with her hair totally in disorder. Rubbing her eyes, she says, "Dad says either you have to blow him, I have to blow him, or he will come down and give the guy a blowjob himself, but for God's sake, tell your boyfriend to take his hand off the intercom!"
Blonde w/ One Brain Cell:
Q: What do you call a blonde with one brain cell?
A: Gifted
Alligator Hunting:
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana.
She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst
way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local
vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude
of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll
just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of
shoes at a reasonable price!"
The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe
you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"
Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set
on catching herself an alligator.
Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he
spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water,
shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator
swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the
creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the
swamp bank. Laying nearby were several more of the dead
creatures.
The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde
flips the alligator on it's back, and frustrated, shouts out,
"Damn it, this
one isn't wearing any shoes either!"
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