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Meanwhile on the bank a bear is watching the fish and the
fly and thinks, if that fly goes down three inches the fish
will jump for the fly and I'll get the fish.

While behind the bear on a hill a hunter is watching
everything and thinks that if that fly goes down three
inches, the fish will jump for the fly, and the bear will go
for the fish, and I'll shoot the bear.

Behind the hunter though, is a mouse. The mouse thinks that
if the fly goes down three inches the fish will get the fly,
the bear will get the fish, the hunter will get the bear, and
I'll get the hunter's cheese.

Now stalking the mouse is a cat, the cat thinks that if the
fly goes down three inches the fish will get the fly, the
bear will get the fish, the hunter will get the bear, the
mouse will get the hunter's cheese and I'll get the mouse...

So the fly goes down three inches and the fish gets the fly,
the bear gets the fish, the hunter gets the bear, the mouse
gets the cheese, but the cat misses the mouse and falls into
the water and drowns.

The moral of the story is for every fly that goes down three
inches there is a wet pussy.

 Alligator Hunting:
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana.
She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst
way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local
vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude
of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll
just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of
shoes at a reasonable price!"

The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe
you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"

Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set
on catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he
spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water,
shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator
swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the
creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the
swamp bank. Laying nearby were several more of the dead
creatures.

The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde
flips the alligator on it's back, and frustrated, shouts out,
"Damn it, this
one isn't wearing any shoes either!"
 Confessions:
Ted and Julie go to bed with one another for the first time.
Julie: I think I should warn you Ted, I've got acute angina

Ted: You're breasts aren't bad either.

 

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